What an online EMDR session is actually like

Before anything else: a free call

It starts with a 15 minute call. You can ask questions, I'll ask a little about what's brought you, and we'll both get a sense of whether working together feels right. There's no obligation, and you don't need a diagnosis or a GP referral.

The first sessions are about preparation, not memories

People are often surprised that we don't go straight to the difficult stuff. EMDR is a structured therapy, and the early sessions are about understanding what's going on for you now: sleep, stress, what's changed, and what you'd like to be different.

We also spend time on preparation. I'll teach you some grounding skills, simple ways to bring yourself back to the present if things feel too much. We practise these until they feel familiar, so you have them during sessions and in between. If EMDR doesn't look like the right fit, I'll say so, and we can talk about counselling or other options instead.

How the eye movements work over video

In a room, a therapist might move a hand or a light bar side to side. Online, you follow a moving point on your screen, or tap your own shoulders or knees, left then right, whichever you find easier. This back-and-forth rhythm is called bilateral stimulation.

All you need is a quiet, private room, a laptop or tablet rather than a phone if possible, and a steady connection. Sessions run on Zoom, Microsoft Teams or WhatsApp video.

What happens during a processing session

EMDR sessions with me last 90 minutes. That gives us time to settle in, do the work and close properly, without watching the clock.

We choose one memory to work on. You bring to mind a picture from it, the thought that goes with it (often something like "I should have done more"), and where you feel it in your body. You rate how distressing it feels right now.

Then we do short sets of eye movements or tapping, usually less than a minute each. After each set I'll ask, briefly, what you noticed. It might be an image, a feeling, a sensation or nothing much at all. There are no right answers. You don't have to describe every detail aloud, although some talking is part of the work.

Over the session, many people find the memory starts to feel further away, or less sharp. The aim isn't to forget what happened. It's for the memory to hurt less and feel less present.

You stay in control

EMDR isn't hypnosis. You're awake, alert and aware throughout. We agree a stop signal at the start, and you can pause or slow down at any point. I'll keep checking in with you.

Closing the session, and afterwards

We never end mid-way through something. We leave time at the end to use your grounding skills and make sure you feel settled before you log off.

Processing can carry on a little after a session. Some people notice vivid dreams, feeling tired, or a memory surfacing at odd moments. That's common, and it usually settles. I'll suggest you keep a few notes, and we'll look at them together next time.

How many sessions will it take?

It varies from person to person, so I can't promise a number. We review how things are going regularly and agree together what comes next. EMDR can be very effective and can work quickly, and some clients have felt real relief after a single session. Others need longer, especially where there's more than one difficult experience.

NICE, which sets guidance for the NHS, recommends EMDR for adults with PTSD after non-combat trauma. If your difficulties are linked to combat, we'll talk through the right approach first.

Is it private?

Yes. I'm independent, and I don't tell your force, service, occupational health or colleagues that you've been in touch. The few limits are explained on the confidentiality page.

Read more about EMDR therapy online, or see the fees and booking details.

This article is general information, not a substitute for individual advice. If you need support right now, see the 24-hour support lines or call 999 in an emergency.